So, you caught your husband watching porn. Let me first say – YOU ARE NOT ALONE!

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Whether you caught him in the act, saw it in his browsing history, or have suspected something for a long time, we have been there and we understand.   

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We can help.

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Are you still wondering if he is actually addicted? Go here.

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I know you probably feel heartbroken, disappointed, confused and angry. You might be starting to look for the fastest way out of your marriage, please let us try to help.  We know where you are and have helped many men and women reclaim trust and intimacy in their marriages.  You and your husband are not beyond help!

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You need to know that there are tens of thousands of men throughout the country that are also struggling with pornography addiction. That’s no excuse, of course. Just because something is common or ‘normal’, does not mean that it’s healthy or acceptable. This is the case with pornography. What matters is that you shouldn’t think that you are the only wife to find out that their husband is a porn addict.

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So what do you need to know?

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• You didn’t cause this: Most addicts were exposed to porn at a very early age, in a time long before he knew you.  Porn addiction is primarily caused by a hurt due to abuse, abandonment, or shame that happened to them when they were young.  So, if you are thinking that you and your husbands sex life is what caused this, you can stop wondering.  This is not your fault!

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• You can’t cure this: If you are thinking that having more sex with you husband is the answer, think again.  Porn addiction is not about sex, it’s about intimacy.  An addict has inability to cope with the stresses of life so he medicates himself with porn.  No amount of sex or changing to fit his current tastes will cure this.  This is his addiction and only he can cure it.

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• You deserve to be loved: Many times when a husband finally gets the help that he needs the wife’s needs are neglected.  Let me tell you that you deserve the love, life, and intimacy you want from your husband.  You will undoubtedly have very rough days ahead but you can get through it and can have the kind of marriage you want.

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What do you need to do?

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• Encourage your husband: As much as you might despise your husband right now, he needs you.  Like I said before, you can’t cure the addiction for him.  He is going to have to want to seek help for himself.  So, ask him if he would be willing to talk to someone who has been there, direct him to this site, and pray like crazy.  WARNING: Do not nag, encourage.

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• Talk to someone: I know that this is probably THE LAST thing you want to do, but you will just have to trust me on this one.  You are dealing with a lot of stress right now and you need to unload those feelings with someone who has been there.  Don’t gossip or tear down your husband but find someone who will encourage you to continue to encourage your husband.

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Contact us: We want to help!  Please contact us any time at chris@wheniamweak.org. We can tell you our stories and will listen to yours.  We can put together a plan to start you and your husband’s recovery and try to connect you with those in your community who will help, listen, and encourage.